BunkerHill

So it is probably time to share my parents fascination with disaster.  My mother is convinced that the worlds implosion is imminent and pores constantly over TLC and Discovery watching shows that project what will happen if.......  Apparently all that will be left standing is tinsel and roaches.  So my parents are not idly taking this laying down...no no....

My father has taken to can hoarding.  If its in a can - there is a case of it in my family home.  While the rest of us are all radiation stricken, living in cardboard trash shelters and contemplating eating each other....mom and dad will be happily hunkered over a can of yellow wax beans, munching to their hearts content.....and if they feel like it, maybe a can of beets too.  They can live large..... There may be enough canned food for the two of them to exist for a good 3 years at this point.  Thank god for NO FRILLS dollar days...

The really should change that slogan to "No Name.....for when the Bunker is Bare"....

And speaking if Bunkers.....where will all of this canned food go...well the first stop was blasting through the pantry into MY BEDROOM CLOSET!!!!  There have been too many sales to resist so we are certainly past capacity now....so now envision a backhoe crawling up the driveway for the excavation of a hole in which to build the new family bomb/tornado/potato storage shelter.  Really?

My father has dug a bachelor apartment size hole into the side of a hill behind the house (to avoid the need for any legal permits...) to build what he calls his root cellar for potato storage. How many potatoes can 2 people eat?..... My mother on the other hand has bigger plans - in that it has to be wired for satellite TV so she can watch the disaster from the comfort of her protective bunker (while they both munch on canned peas) when disaster strikes.   The next thing you know there will be preserving activities going on after the harvest......(what harvest?...wait, maybe we need a garden...)

I spent last weekend helping construct the Potato/Tornado bunker.  Making cement from scratch, and hauling blocks....300 later we have a solid structure...... I'm sure it has a lid by now, and is likely buried under the residual earth...no one will ever know its there... dads probably touring yard sales for a crank radio and hurricane lanterns....or wiring it for windmill power.  Mom is plotting recent earthquakes on her maps of the world and noticing how close Vancouver really is......their getting closer and closer..... all the while in the background, there is an episode of "Disasters that Kill" playing in the background on TV.

I sure hope they remember to store a can opener in there......

Your Moment of Zen:

Thank you Chapters

Who doesn't love a good trip to Chapters?  I'm getting wary though...all of this "Plum Rewards" business is making me nervous that I may actually lose my precious iRewards, and start collecting yet another stupid series of points that will be so cosmically complicated to redeem.  I hate collecting points, cuz (1) I don't ever remember the card when I go in the store, and (b) I feel like such a tool redeeming them, inwardly overjoyed that hey - I just saved 2.50 off of my $25.00 bill.  This must be what the extreme couponers feel like.  Immediate discounts - thats what I love......but you can't ue iRewards on the junk....so I missed out on a series of back to school items that leave me wanting more......heres what you missed.

For the low low price of 9.95, you can have a tidy desk top, through this new innovation below.  A plastic cup.  Its genius right? Plus you can get another shorter cup for paperclips.  Why has no one figured this out yet.  The time being spent today in creating cups for desk crap is shocking.  Rush out and buy this innovation....you can see they have lots.....better yet, giv eme your 10$ and I will give you my toothbrush cup that looks quite similar.....

Clearly I'm cheap, so can routinely be found by the sale shelf......looking or a cheaper pen cup.  I happened on this little beauty.... Its shaped like a pencil sharpener....how droll.  For perspective, this pencill sharpener pen cup is about the size of a small loaf of bread.  But you say WAIT - its 30% off...... what you don't know is that this baby retails at $29.95.  Run in and buy one...you can see they still have lots.

Thank you Chapters...for all that you do, furthering society so that they may keep their pens upright.

What you also missed last week was an almost apocalypse in my yard.  Hail the size of mutant peas has essentially destroyed most of the foliage I so painstakingly cultivated all summer.  You can water them, you can love them, and you can even talk to them.....but ya can't spare them the wrath of the Almighty if it should be so.  However, I still maintain that my plants suffered owing to the religious revivial that was taking place in my living room at the time.  I think if people pray too close to my stuff, that it stirs something in the cosmos in a way that brings about suffering, blight and pestilence. Hail-peas below:

I was flying pretty solo this weekend - so wanted to do something exciting...something refreshing, and something noteworthy.  So I cleaned my spice cupboard.  Who doesn't right?  I have the world on a string.  Entirely too many spices, but all necessary to have constructed at least 1 dish in my past.  Needless to say, I need to have an Indian/Mexican fiesta-wali to burn through some of this curry!

Before the spice craze came upon me, I painted this.  It was nice to putter around with paint.  Truth be known, it was painted mostly by fingers.  Not gallery-great, but suitable for student-house glamour.  When I die it will be worth big bucks - provided it isn't compromised in an out of control frosh house party.

I helped glamourize a Griphon Ghetto this weekend in Guelph.  Its always fun to move in to your first non-dorm place isn't it?  The great scrimmage for "stuff". Nothing needs to match.  Everything is always well worked in and previously enjoyed.......or straight off of the Dollarama shelves.  Soon to be littered with granola bars, beer cans, and stupid frosh momentos.......  Student houses are the best, and also an indication that most students are colourbind.


This was my dining room table the week of August 8.  Strewn with multiple handouts, textbook open to "statement of cash flows"......highball glass with remnants of a non-descript beverage from the day before.....usually me holding a purple pen wondering why I thought I could learn a semester of content for 2 courses over 5 weeknights and expect to do okay in a final exam.....

Oh I know why....because I can.  I got a B in both courses.  Hooray for me!  Either I'm lucky, or I'm a freakin genius!!  I'm going with genius for today....

Here is your moment of Cake Zen

Big news

Remember the day that I met the love of my life....on April 13, 2011..Well okay I didn't actually meet him, but I saw him..........He accepted me on LinkedIn!!  Its like we're practically married!  I'm very excited.  We'll make a nice couple.  He will work all of the time saving lives, and I will be kept in a lifestyle to which I will easily become accustomed in a nice loft downtown - and clearly we will only have to communicate at a frequency of every 4 months as currently established.  I'm gonna start watching Say Yes to the Dress right now!!!  He doesn't even need to be there in person. Webinar will be just fine.  He can do it from his iPhone.  I hope Say Yes has this one in stock less the purse:

So here is what has been happening.  I have learned I will never be an accountant....ay yi yi.  The summer exams are FINALLY over.  I'm just letting the fate chips fall where they may.  If I made it - great.  New class kicks off in September.  If I gotta repeat I will do in the winter when I have no other options but to hole up and study.  God turning 36 has turned me into a complete moron.

I went to the Shaw this weekend and saw My Fair Lady.  A good performance, thus furthering my theatric edification.  I had not seen it, but am always a sucker for a good love story. Glad I went!  I did not love Shaw's Eliza - but what can ya do?  She was already dress to perform.

Also - have undertaken a nasal cleansing regime that I am not yet fully in love with - but am getting better at doing.......

So now for our WTF moment:

What the????? Really?  We need these?  I encourage one and all to visit myshreddies.com......click on "healthcare" when you do.  What is with the contortionist in the add from the 30's?

So just a quick touch base today.  Didn't want to let the world think I had fallen off of it.  I will be actively sourcing blog fodder for next week. It is still sandal season after all....

Here is your moment of Cake-Zen:

Back on the grid

I am so freaking hot!  Welcome back dear readers.  Its been oh so many days since the last blog - but rest assured - I'm back in the saddle.

So how badly do I want a pair of these?  Five Finger shoes.  I know they are for atheletes - but I know my gym experience could be so enhanced if I only had a pair....they may have the power to actually point my car toward the gym!  (There is 60$ a month currently well invested.).  I wonder where my membership card is anyway.....Long story short - I really want these shoes people!

So now that I no longer commute into the bowels of the city to work anymore, I haven't had a lot of TTC blog fodder.....however, on what was possibly the hottest day of the year to date, I made the return to hog town for a play date with Klein.  Don't you love it when people break in their new summer runners.  Which is whiter, the legs or the shoes?  He was practically a hairless albino...... Cute ankle sox pal.

 Now note to self...never entrust Klein with the responsibility of picking a restaurant.  With all that Yorkville has to offer, all of the pomp and plouffe, all of the shi-shi see and be seen venues available......he picks:  RAWLICIOUS.  The great "Raw Vegan Dining Experience".  Now there is nothing Raw/Vegan about either of us.  But what we are is intrigued, and so we ask for a seat in the dining room that you could shoot a cannon thru it was so void of customers.  But the place did fill eventually with obvious regulars.  A bunch of beatnik hippies all wearing hemp suits, toting keep the earth green shopping bags, who all haven't seen real soap in years - since the invention of stink killing patchouli oil.  And then there was us... Meticulously reading every detail on the menu looking for anything that resembled food we would enjoy.  With our Ipads and Blackberries poised taking pictures of the menu like tourists.

9.50 for a 16oz V-8 is extortion!  Glad I wasn't paying.

 (I know the pic is upside down) And once we decided we felt we could not live until we had tasted kelp noodles and seasoned nut loaf, washed down with avocado smoothies.....we dined.  Spring Rolls and Nori rolls to start, and Pad Thai noodles and Pasta Bolgnese.  All cold, all raw, and all vegan.  How do you even begin to milk a nut?

Truth be known, the Bolognese was pretty tasty!  Nutloaf is very close to the texture of meat, and if you chop in a pile of spice and tomato - its palatable.  I would love to get me on the "twirler" that made the zucchini noodles up to.  That has huge application in my kitchen.

At the end of the big play date - there was more than enough room for startbucks, and I happily enjoyed one.....and then had an uber decadent glass of sangria on a patio while I waited for my dinner play date.  French food.  La Paradis on Davenport.  Uber tasty!

Also - the 50th birthday celebration that just would not seem to end, actually ended the following day.  Great tea party, and a great French dinner again at a different venue in Bloor West. Merlot.  Go - get roof top seating.  Liver is great.  Steak is better.  Mousse is odd.

So having a tough time easing into summer fun.  Accounting and Stats are physically taking their toll on my psyche.....maybe I am not as brilliant as I think I am.  I need to get out and have a night amongst the people.  Hey I know - I should see a movie.........

The problem is, is that I should not have seen THIS particular movie.  Do not be fooled by the 4-5 star rating.  And don't be lured in by Christopher Plummer.  Its false advertisement that the movie could actually be good.  However, if you are into 105 minutes of Ewan McGregor and some French babe, miming their growing love for each other and fear of commitment through silent eye contact and interpretive dance - then line up for tickets my friend!  This one's for you.  When I am on my deathbed, I will regret those valuable life moments now wasted.

Here is your moment of Zen:

"Nothing says marriage like butterflies and sperm".

It was EPIC

Its all I can say - EPIC.  And I'm not even a boy band groupie - but holy crap was the NKOTBSB-a-palooza ever freakin awesome!!

I won't lie.  I have been to several of their independent concerts.  I do have an extensive i-pod compendium of both bands - don't judge me.  I didn't expect much beyond the usual fare at the ACC - but wow.....can 20000 groupies ever make a lot of noise.  All I can say is, is that I continue to facilitate much fun for these two:

Good times - the place was mobbed - literally mobbed.....and we were semi dazzled by NEVEREST.....(buy their album BTW), and then Jordan Sparks (don't bother)...and then as if they might pull out a machine gun and take over the world - they magically appeared on stage to an earsplitting round of peri-menopausal peals of delight, peppered by the odd pre-teen trying to catch up.  I'm an applauder.......

Awesome....... heres a few neat pix...check out the little kid getting the serenade.....thats gonna be burned on her brain for a while I'll bet!  She was freaking!

Of course - fan faves, Donny, Joey, and Nick brought on most of the resulting deafness.....and then it was all over.....they aren't Tom Jones or Barry Manilow.....but really, who is?





But the big win of the night was the find of the century.  Miss Crazy-Asian-Ugly-Shoe 2011.  It was really worth the trip on the filthy TTC just to see these.....what would have been better if if I coulda got the whole outfit, complete with fuchsia plaid skirt, black thigh high stockings and full on bleach blond hair.  Rockin......

Didn't know they made peach suede.  She had a pretty sweet chunk of man-candy on her arm too.  All of 98lbs, pasty ghostlike complexion riddled with acne, braces, and a sports jacket.  Love is blind for shure!

So you will all be happy to know that I have kicked angry birds, and like all people on heroin, you gotta wean off slow, and get yourself some methadone.  I have found a dealer in Klein who has turned me on to Plants vs Zombies.  And now it is time for a made for TV intervention to be aired on A&E - cuz I have a full blown addiction here.  I'm trying to go cold turkducken here..... I got the chills, I got the shakes - all classic withdrawl symptoms.....I'm itchy......of course, it is only 18 degrees at work and there may be asbestos in the carpet.....so I can't really be sure whats going on.

Does anyone care that Canada Post is on strike?  Seriously - I could totally go down to 1 day a week and pick up my mail at a box in the post office like the olden days.  Postal worker entitlement makes me crazy - I don't even know what their real labour strife is - and I am certain I wouldn't care once I learned.  They are just the next casualty in the long line of careers being automated.  Lets move with the times and revel in how long ya dodged the electronic reaper!

Also in the news - I'm pretty laden with exams these next few weeks, but as a treat I'm taking myself to see Hugh Jackman in concert in July.  Who knew right?  Its so weird it has to be good. News to follow.

Pedi tomorrow - also big news, and I'm strongly considering shaving my head and turning to wigs.  I'm so sick of hair.  Aren't you sick of my hair too?

Tea party plans are still percolating....

Well - it seems like as good a time as any to go back to work.  Here's your schools almost over moment of Zen:

There is such a thing as too many angry birds

I haven't blogged in a while - and its possibly because I have a problem.  Angry Birds have kinda taken over my life I'm afraid.  Its tough to break the habit once you are in too deep.  A friend of mine has the same problem with solitaire.....maybe the iPad is meant to anti socialize people as a kind of means toward staving off coups, or public rallying.....if we don't talk to each other anymore.....we can never collectively rage against the machine.  Thank god I finished all of the levels..... :).  I may have an iPad2 for sale if it continues to corrupt me socially.

So - this also in the news - I went to a religious rally.  All of the regional Meeting House ministries came out under "One Roof" to "enflesh" Community with the big JC.  I think I saw him in the rafters munching a bag of popcorn.  It might have been a hippie from Parry Sound though.  I had to squint through all of the strobe lighting.  It was actually closer to a rock concert than a revival.  For a first try at gathering the masses, it was pretty good.  Obviously when I get my feedback form, I will happily share some thoughts.  But for now - I resign to say it wasn't a total waste of roomies 10$ or my Saturday afternoon

Also - my brother is engaged - so that's news.

Also - Mommy G's Bday was on the weekend - that was a nice BBQ.  Fab weather.

Also - had a fab BQ with the Lloyd Manor clan - roomie pats together a bichin burger.

Also - I saw Hangover 2 and Bridesmaids.  Bridesmaids was quite good.  I'll try ot see Hang 1, and see if I can appreciate Hang 2 more.

I tell ya - with all this news I clearly have the world on a string.  I have also learned that I am a nuisance.  Thats a tough lesson - apparently I just am one.  Who knew.  Quite sobering when you find this kinda thing out - so be ready.  If someone ever sidles up to you and says "We need to talk" - ask right away if they are going to tell you that you are a nuisance - and if the answer is yes, politely ask them to keep it a secret - cuz you won't recover - you might even take up a bad habit - like Crystal Meth or Angry Birds Rio.  Its not easy being me you know.

So this morning while listening to 680 news en-route to work (don't that sound riveting?) they have a breaking announcement.  Stephen Harper was rushed to TGH as he choked on a piece of hashbrown at breakfast....but would likely make a full recovery..... In a mere few moments they retracted the story because they got it off the conservative party web site...and it was hacked.  My immediate thoughts were 1.  What could possibly be so interesting with the conservatives that I have ACTIVE website surveillance to learn this in real time, 2.  Who hacks that kind of content.  A hashbrown?  Really?  Whats funny was that I was eating a hashbrown at the time!  Ah well.  Stevo is fit as a fiddle.  I can rest easy.  At least 680 has something new to loop every 10 minutes.  Way to go with the Ace journalism Cormack McSweeny.....(no really - thats his real name).

Well - lets get on with the gettin on today.... in the words of Jon Stewart - here is your moment of Zen:

Read the fine print if you can.  Too funny - I think I'll go.

Say Hello to My New Arrival

She's here! After all of the anticipation she arrived amidst my sorrow of the loss of Oprah.  With every closed door is an open window I guess.  She weighs a shocking 1.33 pounds, and is about 7.31 inches long. 

Surprisingly, the delivery wasn't too bad...a mere 10 days, and I barely felt it. 

Isn't she beautiful?

She's happily resting at home in the original package.......roomie and I will smash a beer on a corner to Christen her later, provided she isn't paralyzed from volleyball.   I got my 'Angry Bird' finger all warmed up.

So what else has happened since I blogged last?

1.  I have a head cold like you wouldn't believe - its an Anti-Christ virus to be sure.  Where does all of the mucus come from anyway? 
2.  I was stupid to have taken 3 classes this semester......SO DUMB!
3.  I have hired a protegee.  I think it will work out well.
4.  The back yard is in full floral splendour.  Its practically a sanctuary back there.  My peony and rose plants are resurrected!
5.  I made the worst raspberry pie in pastry history
6.  I made my first pavlova to some critical acclaim
7.  I saw Pirates of the Caribbean 4 (3/5*)
8.  Wasted too much time on Idol and DWTS.  If "i wanna be george strait" wins tonight, I am officially out of this club for good!

So those have been a rich 2 weeks I'd say.  All the while mourning the loss of Oprah.  And I'm fairly steady.  Imagine what are all of her groupies feeling today?  Seriously.  There are Oprah cults everywhere!  Probably being lead by Jamie Fox, Will Smith and Gayle.  We are hardly gonna all tune in to see Katie Couric.  Thank god I don't have a PVR or I would NEVER and I mean NEVER leave the house. 


Working a later shift today.  Had to.  I was in delivery all morning :).  So I gotta churn out some policy and bask in the beautiful aloneness that happens at 4pm! 

So thats what you have missed.    Donnie and Marie are coming to town.  Think I'd like to go.  Might surf for some tickets today.  Also have to plan the Tea Party of the century for June. Anyone who knows me will know I am sorely behind on this if I'm just brainstorming now.  I got a busy few weeks ahead!  Tomorrow I have a dinner happening in the Starlight Dining Lounge, movies Friday, and a BBQ on the Piazza di Fiori on Saturday.......

I may have the energy to weigh in and blog next week.....but till then check out this graduation cake: