Just to keep you all updated - but I think he'll call. Soon. Today is gonna be busy - heres the game plan:
1 - Find a toque - 1, its snowing, and 2, don't want to wash my hair till later
2 - Grocery shopping for the annual charity cocktail affair....got a bucket of money and away I go....and guess what people...I'm buying a freezer! Not only do I have a problem with triscuit overload....I also can't stop buying meat. I've officially entered full on domesticity! I can't wait to fill it....despite all of roomies protests
3 - Gonna get all pretty, going to the theatre w my Italian class pal tonite.
Groceries and almost Broadway....I got the world on a string! Obviously not sitting at home to watch the food network all day, as my crusade to end Boitanos cooking career has not yet been realized.
I plan to funnel a pile of money into the economy today......gotta get outta the grotto as Super G is weilding a paint roller today. Not my cup o tea!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Make Zoo Time
I like photographing - a lot....a shame it don't pay. What I enjoy equally as much is the zoo.....
The Toronto Zoo is a pretty great way to spend a day.
5 MUSTs & 5 MUST NOTS
1. DO: When you visit the orangutan cage, don't just peek and walk. This is a great time to have your lunch and take a seat. People miss a pretty good show cuz they don't wait. Hang on, big laughs are coming. Hee hee.
DON'T: Don't haul your cookies down the big-ass hill to the Canadian Pavillion.....you can see a Raccoon or a crazy Grizzly anywhere....and the moose are Americans!
2. DO: Go to the "meet the keeper" events. See the tigers get fed, or the elephants get a check up. You learn a ton and the animals come up very close
DON'T: Do not feed the damn animals - how many times do you need telling man!!
3. DO: Be patient with the hippos. If it looks like there aren't any - look closer - they may look like a rock with their back to you or they are in the pool. They"ll come up for air eventually
DON'T: Do not freak out when the stingrays in stingray bay fly out of the water......just go with it
4. DO: Go in the fall or on a cool day. The animals will come out in the rain - they like it
DON'T: Don't visit the polar bears at dinner time...its too heart breaking to watch them pace at the door they expect the food to come out of....they look a bit manic
And you really really really - Must have a Beaver Tail......Ottawa is too far away to get one :)
And now to find the weeks ugliest shoe
The Toronto Zoo is a pretty great way to spend a day.
5 MUSTs & 5 MUST NOTS
1. DO: When you visit the orangutan cage, don't just peek and walk. This is a great time to have your lunch and take a seat. People miss a pretty good show cuz they don't wait. Hang on, big laughs are coming. Hee hee.
2. DO: Go to the "meet the keeper" events. See the tigers get fed, or the elephants get a check up. You learn a ton and the animals come up very close
3. DO: Be patient with the hippos. If it looks like there aren't any - look closer - they may look like a rock with their back to you or they are in the pool. They"ll come up for air eventually
DON'T: Do not freak out when the stingrays in stingray bay fly out of the water......just go with it
4. DO: Go in the fall or on a cool day. The animals will come out in the rain - they like it
DON'T: Don't sit at the back if you find your lazy backside riding the zoomobile...the exhaust fumes are just awful.
5. DO: Buy an Elephant Poop souvenir. Nothing makes a cooler gift than stationary made outta elephant turds!
DON'T: Don't visit the polar bears at dinner time...its too heart breaking to watch them pace at the door they expect the food to come out of....they look a bit manic
And you really really really - Must have a Beaver Tail......Ottawa is too far away to get one :)
And now to find the weeks ugliest shoe
My retarding vocabulary
Since my lifelabian exodus.....I have found myself rendered positively moronic. I can't seem to be able to use big words anymore! You know why? Cuz I don't have my daily dialogues with Skippy. For those that don't know him well, you are missing out. His calling in life I am sure is to simply entertain and mystify and he does it by peppering his schtick with the most colorful vocabulary. By sheer exposure I started to sound intelligent as I would work the words into my everyday too.....you don't believe me? Try to work all ten of the top Skippy Words of the Day in to your interactions tomorrow. Truth: I had to look everyone of these up the first time I heard it.
SACCHARIN - its an artificial sweetener....so sickeningly sweet it would curl your toes.....best used recently to describe Katy Perry
IMPETUS - Not to be confused with impotence - means a driving force, or a stimulus.....best used when trying to reconcile some mammoth company blunder.....as in "What could be the impetus for this latest rectal probe coming from HR?"
MACHIAVELLIAN - referring to an act or person that is cunning, deceitful, or opportunistic....usually used in reference to someone manipulating the hell out of us...possibly those responsible for oh say...supplies. Read "The Prince" by Nicolai Machiavelli......enlightening
DICKENSIAN - in reference to the works of Charles Dickens, describing a particular poverty or social injustice, reminiscent of Great Expectations.....The Budget review always felt Dickensian with we leaders holding out our bowls asking "Please Nelly, can we have some more??"
VAPID - offering nothing stimulating or challenging......also used to describe Katy Perry
SALLY FORTH - not the comic strip, its a verb! It means to charge in and defend ones self from siege.....use in reference to skirmish times and needing to not be doormats
DIATRIBE - a forceful and bitter verbal attack.....I was famous for those!
JEW-LITE - one practicing Judaism in a most cavalier way, a la Tim Watley who converted to Judaism purely for the jokes. Sure Skippy had a menorah, but I'll bet theres no Kasha in his cupboard
CATACLYSMIC - that brought about by radical upheaval or drastic change........everyday was cataclysmic!
DUBIOUS - wrought with doubt, as in "Boy, I'm dubious as to the validity of this recent vacation spreadsheet, and the correctness of the data within
RIFE - widespread or common - as in the aforementioned spreadsheet turned out to be RIFE with errors.
Try it - you'll like it.
SACCHARIN - its an artificial sweetener....so sickeningly sweet it would curl your toes.....best used recently to describe Katy Perry
IMPETUS - Not to be confused with impotence - means a driving force, or a stimulus.....best used when trying to reconcile some mammoth company blunder.....as in "What could be the impetus for this latest rectal probe coming from HR?"
MACHIAVELLIAN - referring to an act or person that is cunning, deceitful, or opportunistic....usually used in reference to someone manipulating the hell out of us...possibly those responsible for oh say...supplies. Read "The Prince" by Nicolai Machiavelli......enlightening
DICKENSIAN - in reference to the works of Charles Dickens, describing a particular poverty or social injustice, reminiscent of Great Expectations.....The Budget review always felt Dickensian with we leaders holding out our bowls asking "Please Nelly, can we have some more??"
VAPID - offering nothing stimulating or challenging......also used to describe Katy Perry
SALLY FORTH - not the comic strip, its a verb! It means to charge in and defend ones self from siege.....use in reference to skirmish times and needing to not be doormats
DIATRIBE - a forceful and bitter verbal attack.....I was famous for those!
JEW-LITE - one practicing Judaism in a most cavalier way, a la Tim Watley who converted to Judaism purely for the jokes. Sure Skippy had a menorah, but I'll bet theres no Kasha in his cupboard
CATACLYSMIC - that brought about by radical upheaval or drastic change........everyday was cataclysmic!
DUBIOUS - wrought with doubt, as in "Boy, I'm dubious as to the validity of this recent vacation spreadsheet, and the correctness of the data within
RIFE - widespread or common - as in the aforementioned spreadsheet turned out to be RIFE with errors.
Try it - you'll like it.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
To Blog or not to Blog
Whats funny is that I really thought I'd be a good blogger. But I'm not. What kind of blogger only works once every 3 months? Sigh. Maybe if it was a paying job........
So tonight finds our hero sitting in bed watching "don't forget the lyrics". A lamer show does not exist. Maybe I could do professional karaoke for a living.....the masses could rent me out for LifeLabs Christmas parties. Wouldnt be the first time - I do a mean "Islands in the Stream". I do not miss those parties...at all.
Its cold in my room. I have a pretty dodgy landlord...keeps the perks like heat to a minimum..... :) My candles have gone out - so it can only get colder.
I'm gonna be honest - I'm not a commuter. i just can't do it anymore. I'm not sure if its the need to get to the station 90 min early to get a parking spot so I don;t have to walk 2 miles to the tracks or if its not getting a seat, and having to cavalierly stand in the foyer on display, or maybe its getting a seat and having to cuddle with a mouthbreather in a badly pressed suit, feverishly pecking away on his black berry....its a tough call. However, 60 different stenches of morning breath do not sweeten the deal either.
No one looks you in the eye on the streets of the big smoke...and you know what that means? An unlimited view of some of the worst feet on the planet. Gawd there are some ugly shoes out there. When you cross Bathurst you enter a whole new dimension. I'll be posting the "Ugly foot of the Week" in blogs to come.
Notice the center PLATFORM MUKLUCK. Thank you Donatella for all that you do...
5 Things you should do this week:
1 - see the Katy Perry Fireworks Video - its deeper than you'd exepect
2 - get some fake eyelashes......they will change your life
3 - buy some new cotton underwear - nothing feels nicer than cool cotton on your butt
4 - think about taking a con-ed class
5 - read my blog
So - bed time - I'll get better at the Blogs.....for both of my followers...promise
So tonight finds our hero sitting in bed watching "don't forget the lyrics". A lamer show does not exist. Maybe I could do professional karaoke for a living.....the masses could rent me out for LifeLabs Christmas parties. Wouldnt be the first time - I do a mean "Islands in the Stream". I do not miss those parties...at all.
Its cold in my room. I have a pretty dodgy landlord...keeps the perks like heat to a minimum..... :) My candles have gone out - so it can only get colder.
I'm gonna be honest - I'm not a commuter. i just can't do it anymore. I'm not sure if its the need to get to the station 90 min early to get a parking spot so I don;t have to walk 2 miles to the tracks or if its not getting a seat, and having to cavalierly stand in the foyer on display, or maybe its getting a seat and having to cuddle with a mouthbreather in a badly pressed suit, feverishly pecking away on his black berry....its a tough call. However, 60 different stenches of morning breath do not sweeten the deal either.
No one looks you in the eye on the streets of the big smoke...and you know what that means? An unlimited view of some of the worst feet on the planet. Gawd there are some ugly shoes out there. When you cross Bathurst you enter a whole new dimension. I'll be posting the "Ugly foot of the Week" in blogs to come.
Notice the center PLATFORM MUKLUCK. Thank you Donatella for all that you do...
5 Things you should do this week:
1 - see the Katy Perry Fireworks Video - its deeper than you'd exepect
2 - get some fake eyelashes......they will change your life
3 - buy some new cotton underwear - nothing feels nicer than cool cotton on your butt
4 - think about taking a con-ed class
5 - read my blog
So - bed time - I'll get better at the Blogs.....for both of my followers...promise
Sunday, August 29, 2010
I don't care what Brian Boitano would make
There is nothing that I find more infuriating than the lack 'o TV on Sundays. As I wind up my early morning Coronation Street fix, I commence with the surfing of channels...cuz thats what I do Sundays. I am not ready for the world till at least 12pm.
So as most of you who know me would expect, I drift to the Food Network. What happened to my precious station? I used to be saturated in the wonder of their programming - from Emeril's incessant BAMMING, to Good Eats, and on to a dose of East Meets West with Ming Tsai...I used to have Sundays locked up with a full day of kitchen fun. Its made me the foodie I am today.
Today - fun - not so much. I am forced to choke down "Cooking for Real". Some babe from the south qualifies as a celebrity because her "Gramma" taught her "real cookin". I don't know about that - I can't take a woman poured into a pair of jeans, loaded down with jewelery, topped with a ratty weave flying everywheren choppin up a catfish seriously. I ain't buyin it sista - go back to the club and get your groove on....and take yer vittles with you.
But the point where I know my wagon is hitched to the wrong star is when the title sequence of the following program yields this question: "What would Brian Boitano Make?" Really? Is this all you have under the hood Food Network? Brian Boitano? I'm guessing he's spent all of his figure skating empire entertaining all of his he-friends, and livin large. Now he's broke and needs to broadcast exactly how he'll use chorizzo this time as a party dish, so that the sponsors can fund his gatherings. Sell your medals B-ri
Oddly, Brian Orser and Kurt Browning never show up to enjoy his array of dips and tooth pick fodder. Maybe they don't care what Brian would make either!
So as most of you who know me would expect, I drift to the Food Network. What happened to my precious station? I used to be saturated in the wonder of their programming - from Emeril's incessant BAMMING, to Good Eats, and on to a dose of East Meets West with Ming Tsai...I used to have Sundays locked up with a full day of kitchen fun. Its made me the foodie I am today.
Today - fun - not so much. I am forced to choke down "Cooking for Real". Some babe from the south qualifies as a celebrity because her "Gramma" taught her "real cookin". I don't know about that - I can't take a woman poured into a pair of jeans, loaded down with jewelery, topped with a ratty weave flying everywheren choppin up a catfish seriously. I ain't buyin it sista - go back to the club and get your groove on....and take yer vittles with you.
But the point where I know my wagon is hitched to the wrong star is when the title sequence of the following program yields this question: "What would Brian Boitano Make?" Really? Is this all you have under the hood Food Network? Brian Boitano? I'm guessing he's spent all of his figure skating empire entertaining all of his he-friends, and livin large. Now he's broke and needs to broadcast exactly how he'll use chorizzo this time as a party dish, so that the sponsors can fund his gatherings. Sell your medals B-ri
Oddly, Brian Orser and Kurt Browning never show up to enjoy his array of dips and tooth pick fodder. Maybe they don't care what Brian would make either!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Movie Review - Despicable Me
Well, I finally got to see the movie, which was entertaining. If I'd actually had someone to go with, I may have had a better time! So I went solo, and was early so read my book like some aloof loser in the theatre - Kathy Griffins bio. I'll review later. I then dropped 10$ on a small popcorn and medium frutopia..."and what kind of frutopia miss....we have Red and Orange"...ay yi yi....society has officially turned colours in to flavours. I love summer student help..can't add and completely catatonic at the cash. Have you ever noticed that theatres smell like little kid pee? Take a deep inhale next time...I'm gonna bank that all those b-day parties yield a few damp seats over time.....
So the movie is good - I would LOVE..and I mean LOVE to have a flock of yellow squeaking minion! Oh what I could do with them!
Anyway, pretty fun, always with the tear jerker "will he make it to the dance recital?" moment. You know, the usual.....but the real material is in the company I was keeping in the theatre. Can I say it? Irresponsible Mothers bring me to the brink of wanting to be an assassin.
Three rows ahead of me is Octomom with her brood of 3. A set of twins like 6ish? and her 2 year old that she allowed to run up and down the aisles and through the rows of empty seats...FOR THE WHOLE MOVIE! And mom sits happily watching, oblivious behind her 3D specs!
I get it - apparently being a mom is tough - okay we need entertain the kids so mom can have a break - but why do the rest of us have to suffer? It makes me nuts. I am always trying to make sure I'm not in peoples way, trying not to crunch my nachos too loud.....And it isn't as if I don't want to run up and doen the aisles myslef.....but I don't, cuz I'm considerate. I hope you're reading this octomom - take a hint.
By the way.....this movie was NOT better than Toy Story as often claimed. It has a consistent evil fights evil and evil gone good triumphs over evil theme. The minion and little girls steal the show = 3/5 stars.
So the movie is good - I would LOVE..and I mean LOVE to have a flock of yellow squeaking minion! Oh what I could do with them!
Anyway, pretty fun, always with the tear jerker "will he make it to the dance recital?" moment. You know, the usual.....but the real material is in the company I was keeping in the theatre. Can I say it? Irresponsible Mothers bring me to the brink of wanting to be an assassin.
Three rows ahead of me is Octomom with her brood of 3. A set of twins like 6ish? and her 2 year old that she allowed to run up and down the aisles and through the rows of empty seats...FOR THE WHOLE MOVIE! And mom sits happily watching, oblivious behind her 3D specs!
I get it - apparently being a mom is tough - okay we need entertain the kids so mom can have a break - but why do the rest of us have to suffer? It makes me nuts. I am always trying to make sure I'm not in peoples way, trying not to crunch my nachos too loud.....And it isn't as if I don't want to run up and doen the aisles myslef.....but I don't, cuz I'm considerate. I hope you're reading this octomom - take a hint.
By the way.....this movie was NOT better than Toy Story as often claimed. It has a consistent evil fights evil and evil gone good triumphs over evil theme. The minion and little girls steal the show = 3/5 stars.
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